Unadulterated Scorn

manchild,,

always get what i want.

no power,,

so i hurt myself for shock

i used to wear a terrifying baby mask for shows. it was partially because i was self conscious. the other part is that i’ve always felt like my music has really bratty sentiments (this was 2011). this line is playing off the bratty light i often see myself in.

living in the woods in hoods,,

sequestered to a road with my precious goods

i lived in a dorm community called ‘college in the woods’. in this moment of this song, i was walking in the woods nearby here with my hood up. precious goods = cigarettes.

holding back tears for eleven years,,

wondering why the fuck i been pushed to here

i am a notorious ‘non-cryer’. i don’t cry for years on end - maybe once every three years. i wonder sometimes if that’s why my albums are so outpouring.

you’re the lizard,

though you’d swear it was him

wrapped around her

like a slew of badness

lizards and snakes are some of favorite animals. i’ve characterized myself as a lizard before in songs, they feel appropriately snide & evil as much as they are cute & neat.

hail to the thief,

& in the grave of your home,,

smoke & scowl-

that’ll show ‘em

while at a bela fleck and the flecktones concert on campus, i looked over to see my ex in attendance with a new boyfriend. i was surprised, because she doesn’t go to my school. one of our favorite records - radiohead’s “hail to the thief” was the pre-show music. my reaction in seeing her was to storm off, send her a vitriolic text, and smoke cigarettes alone in the woods.