i’m basic printer.

(you can call me jesse if you want, tho).

i’m a solo gloitchpop artist that’s been making music inspired by break-ups and video games (and lots of other stuff too) for about 12 years…

Get that CD I was talking about!

(Press play to check out a song of mine while you scroll! ☺️)

 

…oh. well in that case, just click this button. To reiterate, this deal will get you an autographed copy of my cd “haha yeah” for just the cost of shipping, which is 5 dollars. you can donate more if you want though.

I want this!
 

…still here? I had a feeling. I think it makes sense to tell you a little bit about myself since I’m just some random guy on the internet at this moment. I also want to tell you about exactly what you get when take me up on this cd thing (and yes, this is the Super Mario 64 font).

 

i’ve been doing this for a while.

i’ve written 10 albums, gone on tours, opened for bands like Paris Monster, Bent Knee, and Delicate Steve, had music featured in an award winning italian art film, and even once interviewed my idol, Yoni Wolf (from the band “Why?”).

say no more. CD, now.
 
 

Yeah, i gotcha. a list of accomplishments a person does not make.

i grew up in upstate ny making weird scratchy music just because i wanted it to exist. i went through normal kid stuff in ny, playing mario, running around in the woods, and getting in and out of relationships. my parents also owned a pizzeria up there and so i would deliver pizza all the time while listening to black moth super rainbow in my 2002 mitsubishi galant.

now i’m in nashville, tennessee, somehow convincing these country peeps to like my music.

and again - weird to try to describe yourself, but it would be accurate to say i have a penchant for the nostalgic and the technological.

i like video games, yoga, and i can’t stop thinking about all of the people i’ve ever dated or ever had a crush on. maybe you can relate.

i crave authenticity, creativity, and honesty. not enough of it in this world, you know?

Ok. YOu're cool. CD Time.
 
 

So glad you asked! So, as an independent artist, getting your name out there is really hard. it’s all about posting into the abyss with like 15 second clips and just hoping people stick around, or something random happens. but i had a better idea…what if i reached out to potential fans, directly, and sent them a package? this way i could get my music in their hands and show them that i’m a real, actual person. and, this would just be way more fun than sending you a spotify link. you know?

I said it earlier - i crave authenticity. i want things to be real. and i want my music to actually hit you. i feel like this is the way i can do it. in my mind, this is what being a real artist is about, not just some passive," “too cool” guy. you know?

tl;dr, i think this is the way to truly connect around music in an age where everything is random 15 second videos.

Wow, that's cool. i'm in. Send me mine!
 
 

So look, being skeptical of paying any amount of money to a random boy on the internet is normal - even if you like my music, and my personality. so let me lay out everything you get when you do this and why you don’t have to be scared to do it:

 

the cd is sick.

beautifully printed cover art by snore captain, a synesthetic tracklist on the back, and all the lyrics on the inside!

Looks so cool. I'll take one.

i will autograph it with a shiny sharpie.

you’ll know that it was me, personally, that packaged your order and sent it - not some rando merch company or “my manager” (gag me with a spoon)

Shiiiiiny.

you’ll get a pokémon card.

literally not a joke. i always have a stack of endless pokémon cards that i include in orders, and you will get a random one alongside your cd!

I'm want to catch mine!

you’ll get immediate mp3 and wav downloads.

as soon as you complete your order, you’ll get sent to a page where you can download the album and see all the lyrics

let's get digital, digital

it’s just $5 to ship.

you can tip more if you want, but it’ll literally just be $5 to get the cd sent to you. in fact, that allows me to pay my keyboardist to help me ship it, while also covering the postage cost. it’s literally that simple!

Okay, that's SO cheap.

ships within a week…or else.

i’m just one dude packing all these cds, but you should see a shipping confirmation with a tracking number within 7 days of ordering! and if you don’t? email me and i’ll refund you. you’re worth it.

Amazon who??

“fuck this guy” money back guarantee.

if you go through this whole process, and you’re somehow like, “fuck this guy. hate his music, hate this cd thing, hate his face. this wasn’t worth it.” you can ask me to refund your $5 within 30 days and i will, no questions asked.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOSE!
 
 

support a synth boi today <3

thanks for reaching the bottom of this page and reading everything. you’re super neat. hope i’ll be sending you a package soon! :)

Send me a package!!